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My Miracle.

Over the last year (2010) I have been to doctor after doctor. I went to my Primary Care Physician, an Internist, an Ears, Nose and Throat Doctor. I had skin and allergy testing done. I was then refereed to an Rheumatologist. All had taken tests after tests. My symptoms were all over the place. From rashes, pressure behind my eyes, which my eye doctor couldn't find any reason for and suggested I get my head checked. I even told one doctor that I needed my head checked. He said, with a laugh ,"they all say you need your head checked!" Other symptoms included tingling and numbness on the left side of my face. Hip and joint pain, so bad it would wake me up at night. Dry mouth and eyes. No energy, over all pain and weakness.

I was about to give up on finding a diagnosis for all of my symptoms when my Rheumatologist, who was leaning to more of a Fibromyalgia diagnosis, refereed me to a Neurologist to test me for M.S. He just wanted to rule it out.

The Neurologist really didn't think I had the symptoms of M.S. but agreed to an M.R.I. just to be sure. I had the M.R.I. and was called by the Radiology Department two days later to come and get a C. T. scan immediately that day and not wait. So after work I had a C.T. scan done. The next day I wasn't feeling well so I called the Neurologist's office to see if they had the results. They did and the doctor was reviewing them and would call me back. Because I wasn't feeling well I left work and went to the Radiology Department and pick up the written notes of both the M.R.I and the C.T. scan.

I read ..." There is an aneurysm arising from the inferior aspect of the right posterior cerebral artery, just over 1 cm from the origin. It measures .6 x 1.0 x .8 cm in size. It has a rather broad neck, measuring 4mm in diameter."

I didn't know much about aneurysms, but I did know that most people die from a ruptured aneurysm. I cried all the way home. The doctors office call me as I was driving home and told me they were trying to find a Neurosurgeon in the state of Utah who could see me now, which was a Friday, and not wait for an appointment on Monday. They asked if I could go to Salt Lake City to the University of Utah if that was the only Neurosurgeon they could find. I told them I could go wherever they wanted me to go.

At home I looked up aneurysms on the internet. Mine was on the III Cranial nerve, which is the nerve to my right eye.

The doctor's office called me back and said they found a Neurosurgeon in Provo who would meet me in the E.R. at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center at 10:00 a.m. Saturday morning and told me to be prepared to stay. I asked if there was anything I should do. They said "Don't do anything, do not lift anything, do not do anything strenuous". Which really frightened me.

I sent a text to my three sons and my daughter-in-law. "Important meeting at my home tonight at 6:30 p.m". I knew I wouldn't be able to tell them over the phone. I felt I should tell all of them at the same time, in person. I called my Home Teachers and left a message to meet at my home at 6:30 p.m. and be prepared to give me a blessing. I knew my Dad would be with me because I was to take him to a viewing in town that night. When I picked up my dad I asked him to bring his Consecrated oil to give me a blessing that night. I know he was worried and my Mom as well. I just wanted to tell everyone all at the same time.

We all met in my home, except one son J.P. who was stuck in traffic, so we had him on speaker phone. I gave the Radiology notes to my son Craig to read. They had a hard time understanding what it meant. I was in tears and did my best to explain. I didn't even know what the Neurosurgeon was going to do the next day when I met him in the E.R.

My Dad gave me a wonderful blessing which calmed me down. I wish my son's had received a blessing that night as well, so they would be prepared for what was to come.

Months ago I had had a thought to get a hospital bag ready and had even told my daughter-in-law it was in my closet if ever I need to go to the hospital. I had packed it with clothes I was comfortable in, which my three sons wouldn't have known what to pack.

We made arrangements to have Jared take me to the hospital the next morning and Shantell would keep everyone posted, my Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers, my Bishop and my Relief Society President.

When Jared and I arrived at the E.R. the next day, they were ready for me, they even had my wrist bands ready. Later, Dr. Reichman met us in the E.R., he had already seen the scans. He explained they would put a "clip" on the neck of the aneurysm, (which his nurse had earrings make out of to show what the clip looked like), to stop the blood flow to the aneurysm. I was admitted into the hospital then and they wanted an angiogram a.s.a.p and scheduled me for surgery on Monday.

Everyone said I had the best Neurosurgeon in the state. I felt confident and at ease with my situation and felt I was in good hands.

During the angiogram the technicians kept saying "wow that's a good one", "that's a good aneurysm". I finally asked what a good aneurysm was, because I thought all aneurysms we bad. They said it was a "good one" because you could really tell I had an aneurysm. It was quite a large aneurysm on the right side of my head, on the outside edge of the brain.

When Dr. Reichman saw the angiogram he said there was a surgeon in Canada who specialized in this type of aneurysm and he, Dr. Reichman, had trained under that doctor. So I was in the right place at the right time.
I had a Brain Aneurysm Clipping on February 14th 2011.

What was I thinking!

I worked late last night, then went to dinner with Rick. After dinner we went over to his home and sat on the deck, just to cool off. The evening was wonderful. Beautiful evening sky with a light cool Mapleton breeze.

But I needed to get home and shower, to get cleaned up from working all day. Rick warned me against a shower. Saying "You won't like it". Why? Well, my hot water heater quit on me the night before. It had started to leak, ALOT. So I turned it off and got most of the water drained. My new hot water heater was in the garage, Rick had found one for me today, but it wasn't connected yet.

I could heat up some water on the stove and have a bath. I thought that would take too much time and I was tired. So, I thought, I'll just have a quick shower, how bad could it be. OH MY! It was bad! I stood in the shower and turned on the water full blast.... It seriously took my breath away. That ice cold water hitting the top of head with all it's frozen ice daggers, felt like a thousand frozen nails. I quickly turned off the water. Then trying to catch my breath, I think at more than one point I screamed.

I then got the shampoo, conditioner and soap and proceeded to shower WITHOUT any water. (Try THAT someday). At this point I am freezing, covered in shampoo and soap and scared to death to turn on the water again. Now what do I do?

Well, I bent down and just rinsed my hair, caught my breath and rinsed the rest of me, one part at a time. Pausing to breathe, shivering and shaking the whole time. NEVER will I try that again. How did the Pioneers do it? Bathing in lakes and steams, no wonder they were so tough and strong.

Here are some tips for showering with out a hot water heater:

Use less shampoo and conditioner. (It takes too long to rinse it out.)
Do one body part at a time. (Hopefully you don't have a lot of body parts.)
Don't have little children in the home. (The screaming might scare them.)
Wear all the winter clothes you can. (You seriously will be freezing.)

Last tip:

DO NOT SHOWER WITHOUT A WORKING HOT WATER HEATER!

un.set.tle

un.set.tle (^nse't'l) pres. part. un.set.tling past and past part. un.set.tled v.t. to cause to be no longer stable, to cause to be no longer sure or determined, to cause to lose one's mental or emotional composure, to cause ( the stomach) to be slightly upset. un.set.tled adj. not paid, not stable, not orderly, not decided, not populated or cultivated, not settled in one place, mentally or emotionally discomposed.

Winter

Rainy and windy today, snow in the mountains.

I'm not ready for winter.

When I looked up at the mountains in Provo a few weeks ago and saw the autumn leaves, for the first time, I felt ..... hummm ..... anxious, concerned, uneasy, sad (just to name a few of the emotions I was feeling). Winter and working outdoors means... lots of clothes ie. thermals, heavy socks, boots and boot covers, sweatshirts, hooded jacket, coat and gloves. It's a wonder I can even move. While it was pouring rain and the wind was blowing sideways I tried to put up my tent, so I could work. Have you ever tried to put up a "pop up tent" in the wind? I thought I was going to fly to Oz! I ended up sitting in the rain with my umbrella covering my splice. My hands got so cold I could hardly work. (I almost swore, sorry.) Thank goodness for heaters. Got in my truck when I finished and got REALLY warm.

I'm such a complainer when it comes to winter. But.... the sun did finially come out and while I was driving home the mountains by Elk Ridge looked so beautiful with the red and yellow leaves, they just seemed to sparkle in the sunlight.

You sure can see God's hand in all things, I need to remind myself daily that " you need to take the bad with the good." We wouldn't have such beautiful scenery if it wasn't for the rain and the snow.

So like the song says "BRING ON THE RAIN"

cancer sucks

Rick and I went to a viewing today. His cousin Diane Allan lost her husband to cancer. The doctors had given him 3 months to a year, but he died after the 2nd treatment. Steve and
Diane were planning more trips on the Harley this year. They loved to travel. He was only 60. They had a family picture taken with everyone in bright orange t-shirts that had "cancer sucks" on the front of them. He had his Harley t-shirt on, with a badge that said the same.

Too young, too sad......

Steve Gerald Allan 1948 - 2009

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your head and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.

With the economy on everyone’s minds we are seeing headlines like these:
(msnbc.com March 14th 2009)

“U. S. trade deficit drops to a six-year low”
“Americans lost wealth at staggering rate in “08”
“Jobless benefit rolls rise to record high”
But we are also seeing headlines like:

“Even in a recession, some companies are hiring”
“Obama vows to break cycle of job losses”
“Wall street chalks up a four-day rally”

Even in times like these we need to stand strong and rally around our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. We need to keep doing what we do best and keep a positive outlook for the future.

Jim Rohn wrote: Emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the power of emotions, human beings can perform the most heroic (as well as barbaric) acts. To a great degree, civilization itself can be defined as the intelligent channeling of human emotion. Emotions are fuel and the mind is the pilot, which together propel the ship of civilized progress.
Which emotions cause people to act? There are four basic ones; each, or a combination of several, can trigger the most incredible activity. The day that you allow these emotions to fuel your desire is the day you'll turn your life around.

1) DISGUST
One does not usually equate the word "disgust" with positive action. And yet properly channeled, disgust can change a person's life. The person who feels disgusted has reached a point of no return. He or she is ready to throw down the gauntlet at life and say, "I've had it!"

Yes, productive feelings of disgust come when a person says, "Enough is enough."
The "guy" has finally had it with mediocrity. He's had it with those awful sick feelings of fear, pain and humiliation. He then decides he is not going to live like this anymore." Look out! This could be the day that turns a life around. Call it what you will, the "I've had it" day, the "enough's enough" day. Whatever you call it, it's powerful! There is nothing so life-changing as gut-wrenching disgust!

2) DECISION
Most of us need to be pushed to the wall to make decisions. And once we reach this point, we have to deal with the conflicting emotions that come with making them. We have reached a fork in the road. Now this fork can be a two-prong, three-prong, or even a four-prong fork. No wonder that decision-making can create knots in stomachs, keep us awake in the middle of the night, or make us break out in a cold sweat.

Making life-changing decisions can be likened to internal civil war. Conflicting armies of emotions, each with its own arsenal of reasons, battle each other for supremacy of our minds. And our resulting decisions, whether bold or timid, well thought out or impulsive, can either set the course of action or blind it. I don't have much advice to give you about decision-making except this: Whatever you do, don't camp at the fork in the road. Decide. It's far better to make a wrong decision than to not make one at all. Each of us must confront our emotional turmoil and sort out our feelings.

3) DESIRE
How does one gain desire? a. It comes from the inside not the outside.b. It can be triggered by outside forces.
Almost anything can trigger desire. It's a matter of timing as much as preparation. It might be a song that tugs at the heart. It might be a memorable sermon. It might be a movie, a conversation. Almost anything can trigger desire. It's a matter of timing as much as preparation. It might be a song that tugs at the heart. It might be a memorable sermon. It might be a movie, a conversation with a friend, a confrontation with the enemy, or a bitter experience.

Therefore, while searching for your "hot button" of pure, raw desire, welcome into your life each positive experience. Don't erect a wall to protect you from experiencing life. The same wall that keeps out your disappointment also keeps out the sunlight of enriching experiences. So let life touch you. The next touch could be the one that turns your life around.

4) RESOLVE
Resolve says, "I will." These two words are among the most potent in the English language.
The best definition for "resolve" I've ever heard came from a schoolgirl in Foster City, California. As is my custom, I asked, "Who can tell me what "resolve" means?" Several hands went up, and I did get some pretty good definitions. But the last was the best. A shy girl from the back of the room got up and said with quiet intensity, "I think resolve means promising yourself you will never give up." That's it! That's the best definition I've ever heard: PROMISE YOURSELF YOU'LL NEVER GIVE UP.

Think about it! How long should a baby try to learn how to walk? How long would you give the average baby before you say, "That's it, you've had your chance"? You say that's crazy? Of course it is. Any mother would say, "My baby is going to keep trying until he learns how to walk!" No wonder everyone walks.

There is a vital lesson in this. Ask yourself, "How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?" I suggest you answer, "As long as it takes." That's what these four emotions are all about.

Read Jim’s entire article at:

http://www.citihealth.com/provider_article.php?city=ut&hc=0&art=1014&pr=0